Everything is beautiful if you tilt your head and squint.
Such is my life as a gourmet cheffette in my cozy chic kitch. The rolls were just the beginning. Now, I feel that my talents are flowering beyond the powers of weedkiller.
I have now done a layer cake.
Oh, yes. That's right.
And on top of that (quite literally),
I have created a
brilliant,
avant-garde
work of art aloft the delectable layers to make even the
sharpest of crooked-necked critics
ooze with delight.
I won't have to mention,
of course,
the lack of time put into preparing the actual meat or juice of the cake.
No,
I shan't,
only to preserve that time spent on laborious mixing and measuring of "from scratch" recipes takes away from the creative mind (when a premixed powder does just the trick) of the most important element of any
earthly creation:
the decorations.
Behold, what threatened to become a monstrosity, but by the hand of a true proficient blossomed into:
A Masterpiece.
Chef D'oeuvre Unveiled
"Notice the subtle difference in height of each side.
The cake displays great instability, yet stands firm and resolute."
-Bay King, World Renowned Chef
-Bay King, World Renowned Chef
"The intricacies,
painstaking detail,
and inconsistencies
placed in each
purposeful brush stroke
onto this canvas of flour, egg, and oil
shows the true likeness of an angry Van Gogh."
-Mike Rowave, Author of Just Add Water: Meals in Minutes that only require H20
The Process
Asymmetry and rough edges were the goal in creating this
meaningful treasure.
When a large missing chunk was discovered,
I was crushed.
A picture only could capture my feelings of sadness at this
atrocity.
Although down trodden and awkward, this
eighth wonder of the world
was an absolute success with all critics involved in judging.
In a happy turn of events, the judges felt that
the missing chunk
completed this piece
and was deemed
"a true model of perfection."
As devastating as the truth can be at times, I must be honest:
Shortly after completion, I discovered that
it has been completely devoured.
Many would
criticize
the immediate destruction of one masterpiece such as this.
Keep heart fellow art enthusiasts. I hold no grudges.
A talent, such as I have,
never goes neglected
for long.
And as so many of the great sand sculptors and chalk artists of our time have attested,
the memory of such a creation can never be forgotten,
if only one has partaken of its beauty.















